Last year, I really got into the TV show, SAS: Australia. I loved the challenges and how far they pushed the contestants, and seeing some of the more introverted characters thrive in the environment.
I saw Ant Middleton who is the course leader advertising his new book ‘Mental Fitness: 15 Rules to Strengthen Your Body and Mind’, so for Christmas, it was the only thing I asked my partner for.
However aggressive the course leaders may appear, you can see they have an incredibly high level of emotional intelligence, so I wanted to see if I could learn a thing or two from the book.
Last night I got stuck in to the third chapter, ‘Be Authentic’. I woke up today still thinking about the lessons learned from the chapter.
I thought I’d write my own working perspective on some of the lessons Ant Middleton writes down in this section and hopefully you can take something away from it too!
Lesson 1: Don’t be a square peg in a round hole. When you suppress your instincts and personality to fit somebody else’s agenda, you’ll end up living a crushed and unsatisfying life.
I had a confronting exchange with a contact of mine recently. Throughout my life, I’ve always tried to be a people pleaser, and in difficult situations, I have often been a pushover.
I’m not the most direct individual in the world and unfortunately I agreed to this contacts terms rather than my own. The bite back from doing things their way, rather than the right way left me feeling embarrassed of my own actions, and deeply unsatisfied with how I handled the situation.
I have so many conversations with individuals who put up with situations at work because their boss throws a little bit of extra money at them, or they accept a counter offer because a manager promises to change. Buying your loyalty to make you stay in an environment you really don’t like.
Accepting a counter offer or attempting to get on board with a toxic workplace for more money is once again bending your own agenda to fit in with theirs. You know it’s not right, but you do it because ‘it’s good money’, it’s basically bribery.
From my recent experience and from dealing with others, you have to put your own agenda first. Others will please themselves, make sure you’re satisfied with choices in life too - it will eat at you over a period of time if you’re always selfless.
Lesson 2: ‘Normal’ is a concept designed to make us conform. You should never forget that everybody’s ‘normal’ is different. So don’t let anybody persuade you otherwise.
When I told people I was starting my own agency, the negative comments far outweighed the positive ones. Since being 15, I’ve wanted to run my own business, and working for someone else has never felt like my idea of normal.
In other aspects of my life, I’ve let the negative or discouraging comments outweigh the positive ones, and given up on certain challenges or goals. In this instance, I was so confident in the future I wanted to create, nothing was going to stop me from making this choice my normal.
Often, negative comments come from someone’s own insecurities if they were put in the same situation - they aren’t actually trying to shoot you down, but they do in the process.
If you have a vision for your career or future, make sure you absolutely believe it before telling others. That way you won’t cave to someone else's version of ‘normal’. Follow your own path.
Lesson 3: If you demand respect, you’ve got to give it too.
Last year I dealt with a business that couldn’t retain staff. I tried my best to assist them in other ways, putting them on to a HR consultancy firm that specialises in identifying a culture before attempting to hire again.
This firm was happy for staff to do a profiling test, but wouldn’t take part. They wanted staff to respect them, but they weren’t willing to understand why people had previously left. You will never gain respect with this mentality.
We all have good and bad habits, it’s what makes you, you. We’ll never improve as humans if we’re not willing to accept our traits, though. All facets of your personality and those around you create the real culture of an office.
These views are my own opinion, and I’m open to discussing how you view the 3 lessons shared in this post.
At Cadence Recruitment, we always look to hire on culture fit first. If we can get the culture fit right, you will be more likely to excel in the role, even if you have slightly less experience than someone else.
If you’re open to a conversation about your own career or current situation, please feel free to reach out.
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